


6 times adam believes he is dreaming, and 6 times ronan convinces him he is not

by artemis_west



Category: Pynch - Fandom, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater, raven boys, the raven king - Fandom
Genre: M/M, i am in pynch hell and i do not need to be saved, some brief gangsey but mostly pynch because i just finished reading trk and i'm complete bi trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6713590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis_west/pseuds/artemis_west
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since Adam had known what it was to be with Ronan Lynch, his whole life felt like a dream, hovering on the edge of something real. He was never sleeping again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the first

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished reading The Raven King and this is the result. Spoilers ahead, I guess.

The first time Adam Parrish thinks he is dreaming, it takes feeling Ronan Lynch's hands on his chest to convince him he is awake.

Adam had moved into the Barns before graduation. It was an unspoken decision that he and Ronan had made together; Ronan simply had to look at him as they laid together in his bed, and Adam nodded silently. He would move his things into the Barns three days later. He had his own room, but he spent most of his time in Ronan's, anyway. Ronan's bed was a boat, and the Barns was an ocean.

The night after Adam graduated from Aglionby, he hadn't wanted a party. So no one gave him one. Instead, he drove back to the Barns in Ronan's BMW, listening to Ronan's techno music. He smiled. Since he had been with Ronan, he listened to almost nothing else. He had grown far used to the sound of Ronan Lynch's head. He felt comforted by it.

Ronan was waiting for him in the kitchen, with a small congratulatory cake and a Coca-Cola. His eyes were shining with something that looked like pride. If Ronan hadn't graduated, it was enough for him to see Adam get his diploma. It was enough to see Adam Parrish be happy.

After the summer, Adam would leave for college. He would leave Henrietta, leave the Barns, and leave Ronan. They both knew he would come back, but it was hard to think about it without a sense of foreboding. They would not take the summer for granted.

Adam had taken nothing for granted since he had been with Ronan. He knew enough to discern dreams from reality, but most of the time, being with Ronan felt like a dream unlike any his mind had ever conjured before. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to wake up.

"Congratulations, Parrish," Ronan said when Adam stepped into the kitchen. "I made you a cake."

"You made it?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm impressed."

Ronan smirked. Adam smiled back. From under the table, Opal was chewing on one of the wooden legs. Adam bent down and smiled at her. She reached out her hand, and he touched it gently. He stood up and took the seat across from Ronan. Ronan cut him a slice of cake and pushed the bottle of Coke across the table towards him. "Drink up, big-shot. You're a graduate now."

There was a mocking tone to his voice, but it was gentle, and his eyes still glistened with pride.

The cake was forgotten very quickly. Adam yawned, perhaps as an excuse to go upstairs, and Ronan stood up from his chair. "You tired?"

Adam nodded. "Long day."

It was barely six o'clock, but that didn't matter. Opal watched them curiously as they walked out of the kitchen, trailing close behind each other.

"Stay here, Opal," Ronan said. "Don't leave the Barns."

"Kerah," she said. Ronan rolled his eyes.

Adam followed Ronan upstairs. Since they had been together, there had been many nights like these, but this one felt charged and weighted. Adam was leaving for college when the summer was over. The summer loomed over them, heavy with possibilities and dreams as yet undreamt. The air around Adam felt shimmery and soft. This was a dream he was afraid to wake up from.

In Ronan's room, the lights were dimmed and ambient. Adam closed the door behind him as he entered behind Ronan. They turned to face each other, and Ronan leaned slowly over Adam, his hand finding Adam's at his side. The pads of their fingers brushed together. Adam's heart began to beat faster. Ronan kissed him, and it was like the first time they kissed.

There had been nights like these before, nights alone in the Barns spent exploring each other, discovering each other, but this one felt different. These nights always felt like a dream, but this one felt more like a promise. Adam put his hands on Ronan's waist, pulling him closer. Their bodies pressed together and their lips moved in tandem, tongue against tongue, chin against chin, chest to chest. Adam pulled Ronan's t-shirt up over his head. His hands wound around to his back. He gasped for breath as Ronan kissed him, and they moved to the bed. They sat on the edge, and Ronan began to kiss Adam's neck as he undid the buttons on his shirt. Ronan's lips on his skin felt soft and rough at the same time, and Adam closed his eyes as he felt the other boy's breath on his neck. He felt as though ravens were nesting in his stomach; he felt their wings brush all over his body, their feathers brush his skin. This is what Ronan Lynch did to him. He was dreaming again.

Ronan rested his head on Adam's shoulder, eyes closed, his heart a land mine in his chest. Adam's careful hands traced the lines of the tattoo on his back, and Ronan felt like he might be floating. He pushed Adam's shirt off of his shoulders, exposing the planes of his bare chest. Ronan brought a hand up to rest it over Adam's heart. It was beating as fast as his own.

Ronan lifted his head and whispered in Adam's ear. "This is real." He put his lips to Adam's jaw, his hand traveling over Adam's chest. Adam closed his eyes, his skin tingling and charged with electricity. Ronan was the conduit.

"Show me something else real," Adam whispered, and they leaned back on the bed.

There had been nights like these before, but this time, Adam knew he wasn't dreaming.


	2. the second

The second time Adam believes he is dreaming, it takes feeling Ronan's fingers in his own to convince him he is not.

Blue wanted to hang out with everyone. Before she, Gansey, and Henry Cheng left on their Grand Tour of The World, and before Adam left for college, before the summer diminished, Blue wanted to spend every moment with her friends. And so Gansey called them all together in a field near a lake, a spot that Blue particularly liked, and they were splayed out under a willow tree, staring up at the sky through the branches. 

Adam laid next to Ronan, their heads touching. Ronan had his ankle crossed over Adam's in the tall grass. The breeze blew all around them, smelling of summer and promises. The wispy branches of the willow tree whispered joyously to the five friends laying underneath them. 

No one was speaking; no one needed to. They laid there, listening to the sounds of the summer around them, and Adam closed his eyes. It felt like a dream again, as many moments had before this. Since he had known what it was to be with Ronan Lynch, his whole life felt like a dream, hovering on the edge of something real. 

Adam's hand was in the grass, his palm facing the sky. His arm was pressed against Ronan's as they laid side-by-side. Ronan's hand curled up, and he turned it over to place it in Adam's. The air around them was suddenly sweeter; the sun was suddenly brighter. 

Ronan traced the lines of Adam's palm with his finger, delicately brushing his thumb over Adam's wrist. Adam's pulse jumped, and he was sure Ronan could feel it, and that he was smiling because of it. Ronan matched his fingers with Adam's, touching the pads of their fingertips together. Slowly, Adam twined his fingers through Ronan's. The feeling of Ronan's hand in his still felt new to him, but undeniably familiar, as if they had been holding hands for centuries. It felt like home. Ronan felt like home. 

He knew he shouldn't make homes out of people, but Ronan Lynch was not people. He was Ronan. 

"This feels like a dream," Adam said out loud, his voice a whisper that matched the cadence of the way the willow tree was speaking to them all. Blue smiled, because she felt the same way. Gansey was holding her hand. They both had their eyes closed, senses tuned to the summer around them, the summer ahead of them, the life waiting for them. Ronan turned his head so that his lips were at Adam's ear. 

"Real," he whispered, only for Adam to hear. 

Ronan raised their twined hands to his mouth and pressed his lips to the back of Adam's hand. He left them there, and when Adam looked at him, there was an easy, effortless smile on his face, his eyes closed. 

"Real," Adam agreed.


	3. the third

The third time Adam believes he is dreaming, it takes hearing Ronan says he loves him to convince him he is not.

It was the last night before Adam would leave for college. It had been weighing on them all summer, a sword over their heads, but Adam knew he would be coming back to Henrietta, and Ronan would be here waiting for him. He would always be here. And as long as he was here, Adam would always come home.

Blue had decided she wanted to do something normal. Something they had never done before. She had watched a Sofia Coppola movie recently, and she had decided she wanted to act like she was part of it, just to see what it was like. And so they were all sitting on a hill above Henrietta, where they could see the whole town sparkling below them. It was twilight; the moment just after sunset when the sky is still light enough to see by, the air is cool and the possibilities are endless. Blue and Gansey and Henry Cheng were sitting on the hood of the Pig, laughing about something Henry had said. The sound echoed through the evening, floating around Adam's ears. Blue had wanted to feel like she was in a movie, but to Adam, as always, life felt like a dream. Especially because he had Ronan beside him. They were sitting on the hood of the BMW, watching Henrietta fall asleep below them. Adam was wearing Ronan's hoodie, and Ronan was wearing a t-shirt with the logo of Adam's college on it. It was strange to see him in such a light color. 

Adam laid back against the windshield, watching the sky above him. Ronan put his hand on Adam's knee, comfortably, absentmindedly. He rubbed it slowly over Adam's jeans, and Adam closed his eyes. 

He felt Ronan lay back on the hood beside him. Their hands found each other, as they always did. Each of their hands was perfectly molded to the shape of the other's, now. They had spent the summer like this, memorizing each other before Adam would have to leave. Adam knew every inch of Ronan, and Ronan knew every inch of Adam. They knew each other inside and out. It felt lasting and permanent, an unbreakable foundation on which to build a castle full of dreams. 

Adam would live in that castle with Ronan for the rest of his life. 

"Life does feel a lot like a movie right now, Blue," Adam called across the hill, and Blue smiled. "Or a dream."

"You always say that," she replied, and he shrugged. It was how he felt. Being with a dreamer made him feel like he was dreaming.

Adam turned to Ronan, who was staring pensively at the twilight sky. "Tell me something real," he said. "Something real I can take with me when I leave tomorrow."

Ronan turned his head and put his hand on Adam's cheek, tracing his fingers over his jaw. Adam reached up and brushed his thumb over Ronan's lips. They parted beneath his touch. 

"I love you," Ronan whispered. "That's real."

They had never said it before, but Adam knew it was true. He felt it every time Ronan looked at him, as they had been looking at each other for almost a year. 

It was real. 

"I love you," Adam repeated. Factual. "That's real."

And it was.


	4. the fourth

The fourth time Adam believes he is dreaming, it takes seeing Ronan smile at him to convince him he is not.

Ronan and Opal were visiting him at college. He had been there for a month, and every day without Ronan had felt painfully real. Only when Ronan showed up at his dorm did he feel like he was dreaming again. 

"Hey," Ronan said when Adam opened his door. "I'm here." His smile was carefree, loose and happy, and beside him, Opal was smiling, too, holding his hand. Adam's chest was suddenly lighter. 

His roommate wasn't home, so Adam pulled them both into his dorm room, closing the door behind them. Opal made herself busy with one of Adam's pencils she found on the floor. Ronan took Adam's hands, studying his fingers one by one, touching each of them individually as if he had missed them like breathing. Adam put his hands on Ronan's chest, sliding them around his shoulders, touching his neck. 

"I missed you," Adam said, and Ronan smiled again. Adam would sacrifice entire worlds for that smile. 

Ronan kissed Adam, his lips soft and urgent against the other boy's. He had missed Adam, too. 

"Come on," he whispered against his lips. "Give us a tour."

They spent the day touring the campus of Adam's school. Adam introduced them to the friends he'd made. He'd told his friends Ronan was a farmer, and Ronan grinned when Adam told him that. Adam's friends were surprised to see that Ronan did not look like a farmer, with his leather jacket and his motorcycle boots and his shaved head and his enormous tattoo. And they were also surprised to see the pale dream-child he brought with him. Adam told them Opal was Ronan's niece, and they were taking care of her while her parents were away. His friends were intimidated by the pair at first, but Adam couldn't care less. He was dreaming again, because his dreamer was beside him. Ronan's mere presence made him feel something he had been deprived of since he left for college. He loved school, he loved being here, and he would never give it up, but he had missed feeling like life was a dream. He had missed feeling like he never wanted to wake up. 

When Adam and Ronan were back in Adam's dorm room, Opal chewing on a pencil once more, Adam noticed Ronan's hand. "What's this?"

Ronan shrugged in answer. He had gotten another tattoo. This one was on his hand, right in between his thumb and forefinger. It was a small letter A. 

"You didn't," Adam said, laughing, and Ronan grinned. 

"I was bored. It was the first thing I thought of."

"Should I get a matching one?"

"Fuck no. That's a little too mushy for my taste," Ronan said, and Adam laughed again. 

"Right, Mr. Softie."

"Shut the fuck up, Parrish." But Ronan smiled. Adam had missed this. He had missed his dreamer and the dreams he brought with him. 

"I love you," Adam said softly, touching the A on Ronan's hand, and Ronan made a study of Adam's fingers again. 

"That's real," Ronan said, smiling. Adam kissed his smile.


	5. the fifth

The fifth time Adam believes he is dreaming, it takes feeling Ronan's body against his own to convince him he is not.

Adam was home from college for Thanksgiving Break. It was the first real break he'd been given, and he intended to spend every minute of it with Ronan. He would've liked to see Blue and Gansey and Henry, too, but they were off on their Grand Tour of The World. They'd left around the same time Adam left for school. They kept in touch through phone calls and Skype video chats. Last time they'd all spoken, Blue, Gansey and Henry had been in Nepal. 

When Adam drove the BMW up to the Barns, he saw Ronan and Opal waiting for him on the porch. As soon as he arrived on the property of the Barns, he felt like he was dreaming again. He was home. 

Ronan had a smile on his face that Adam could see for miles. 

They had dinner together. Ronan cooked. Opal ate with them, but after the meal was over, Ronan sent her off to play. Ronan and Adam couldn't stop looking at each other. Ronan looked at Adam's hands, and Adam looked at Ronan's face, and they were drawn to each other, they had been starving of each other for months. When dinner was over, Adam helped clean up, and then Ronan took his hand and lead him upstairs. Adam felt Ronan's hand in his, and he thought about how they hadn't touched since the last time Ronan and Opal came to visit him, months ago. Adam would be home for two weeks until he had to go back to school. Two weeks of making up for lost time. Two weeks of dreaming with his dreamer. 

They barely made it to the bedroom before Ronan pushed Adam against a wall upstairs, and Adam put his arms around Ronan's neck. Ronan's mouth attacked his, and Adam's retaliated with force. Their lips mashed together, their tongues danced, and their breath mingled, fast and hard. Ronan was breathing hard, and Adam was barely breathing at all. He gasped and raised his head up to the ceiling as he felt Ronan's hands on him. Adam thought Ronan was making a noise before he realized it was himself. It was a relieved noise, an exalted one - he had not had this for months. He was definitely dreaming. 

Ronan pushed himself closer to Adam, and Adam could feel every inch of him. He moaned as Ronan's hands went underneath his shirt. They pushed into the bedroom, Ronan hovering over Adam on the bed, kissing him until both of their lips were numb. And even then, they didn't stop. Adam's shirt was on the floor, and Ronan's was somewhere in the hallway, and their hands were all over each other. Adam felt Ronan reach for his belt, and he didn't stop him. He wasn't nervous. He was dreaming, still. He had never been with Ronan like this before. He wanted to. He could tell Ronan wanted it, too. 

Adam's heart was in his throat; he felt like it would explode at any minute. Ronan's arms were around him, coveting him, cradling him, cherishing Adam and every part of him that he had missed. Ronan put his hand on the waist of Adam's jeans, a question written between his fingers. They looked at each other as if they would never get to see each other again. Adam put his hand over Ronan's heart. It was beating as fast as his own, maybe even faster. 

Adam nodded, and Ronan kissed him like it was the end of the world. They kissed and they kissed, and eventually, there was more than kissing, and Adam hoped Opal wasn't within hearing distance, he hoped she was out in the yard playing, and not inside the house. This was the best dream he had ever had. He felt Ronan on top of him, and then underneath him, their bare chests pressing against each other, naked bodies and naked souls, bared to each other bravely. They had both been waiting for this, hungry for this. 

"Is this real?" Adam asked, when Ronan was tracing a finger over his chest, across his legs, over his hip. 

"You know what, Parrish?" Ronan said quietly, feeling the heat of Adam's skin tangled in the covers, feeling every inch of Adam's body. "This time, I think you might be right. This feels like a dream."

Adam smiled. He turned his head into Ronan's neck and kissed his shoulder. Ronan took his hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed Adam's fingers, and Adam brushed Ronan's lips. He felt rapturous. Ronan felt happy. 

He traced the contours of Ronan's body. He felt solid, heavy, tangible. Real. 

"No," Adam whispered. "This is real."

Ronan placed a kiss on Adam's stomach. "Real," he agreed. They melted into each other. Ronan's bed was a boat, and the Barns was an ocean, and they were the only two people in it.


	6. the sixth

The sixth time Adam believes he is dreaming, it takes Ronan giving him a gift to convince him he is not.

Christmas had come to Henrietta. Adam was back home for his second break from school, and Blue and Gansey and Henry were back home, in favor of spending Christmas with their family instead of in a foreign country. They were all gathered in 300 Fox Way, even Opal, who was chewing on a piece of tree bark Calla had found. Maura was making cookies in the kitchen, and the teens were congregated in Blue's living room, around a fake Christmas tree shimmering with Ronan's dream-lights. A pile of presents sat underneath the tree, despite the fact that everyone had agreed not to get anyone anything. The psychics had all known each of them was going to break the rules, anyway, and so the Raven Boys had broken the rules, too. Gansey and Blue and Henry had brought back souvenirs from every country they'd been too so far on their Grand Tour of The World. Ronan had conjured up dream-things for each of them. His present for Adam, though, was not from a dream.

"Is it time yet?" Blue asked, calling to her mother in the kitchen.

"Not yet," Maura responded. The scent of cookies wafted through the house. "You can all open your presents to each other, if you want. Calla and I will wait."

"I need to know," Henry said, grabbing for the first present he saw with his name on it. Blue laughed. She and Gansey were sitting on the floor in front of the tree, their knees touching. Henry was beside them, RoboBee perched on his shoulder. Ronan and Adam and Opal were sitting on the couch. Ronan had his arm around the back of the couch and Adam's shoulder. Adam leaned into him comfortably, his hand on Ronan's leg. They watched the others open their presents, and Adam and Ronan opened their presents from Blue and Gansey. They didn't open their presents to each other. Adam had already given Ronan new techno CD's, and he had built a bird house for Chainsaw. Ronan swore he didn't get anything for Adam, but Adam knew he was lying.

The teens laughed over their gifts and thanked each other and laughed some more because they were all together again, and Maura brought out cookies, and Calla brought out spiked eggnog. Adam's family was together. His dreamer sat beside him, his hand resting on Adam's shoulder, and the air felt soft and warm, and he thought of what he and Ronan would do tonight when they returned to the Barns, and his hand tightened on Ronan's leg.

Ronan smiled as if he knew what Adam was thinking.

"Don't get too excited, Parrish," Ronan whispered teasingly in his ear, biting playfully at Adam's earlobe. "You'll embarrass yourself."

Adam blushed. "Where's my present? I know you got me one."

Ronan sighed. "Fine. I was gonna wait until we were alone, but whatever. You asked for it." And Ronan would give Adam anything he asked.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out an unwrapped thing. He held it in his fist so Adam couldn't see.

"Hold out your hand," Ronan said, and Adam did, feeling dreamy again when Ronan's fingers brushed his in a caress. He dropped something into Adam's palm.

It was a ring.

Well, a ring on a necklace. A thick, woven silver band hanging from a silver chain. Adam couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak.

"I'm not asking you to marry me," Ronan said quickly. "It's not an engagement ring. It's just a ring. Look." He took it and held it up so Adam could see the engraving on the inside.

_Hoc est realis,_ it said. This is real. 

"That proof enough for you?" Ronan asked quietly, and Adam kissed him. 

"Real," he whispered. "Real, real, real."

He was never sleeping again.


End file.
